Day 6: Something you hope you never have to do……………
This is hard for a couple of reasons. First of all, I really try not to think about things I don’t want to happen. I know, I sound very New Age when I say that, But I read The Secret, and that stuck with me.
The second reason this is so hard is because the thing I hope I never have to do, I already did. I buried my child. I didn’t think I would survive it. I am almost positive that I wouldn’t survive if I had to do it again.
Another thing that I hope I never have to do is put my children in any type of danger. We have a bad living situation that needs to be corrected as soon as possible. I never want my kids to be homeless, not have enough to eat, heat to be warm. Once I take that leap, though, it’s kind of all up to me, sink or swim. That’s why I’m here now. Because when I leave this time, I will not be back, no matter what.
I love the idea of not relying on anyone but myself, I really do. I’m pretty sure that it’s natural to be worried about it, seeing as I am 42 and have never been totally on my own yet. It’s not that I’m not up to the challenge, it’s just a matter of how big a gamble I am willing to take with my kids. They deserve the best, and I am determined to give it to them.