Day 13: Someone you wish could forgive you………
I know we have talked about this before. I’ve talked to you each individually, and as a group. Somehow, though, I don’t think that I am getting through to you all, so I want to take this opportunity to try again.
I know that the past couple of years have been hard for you. I know that you have a lot of resentments and hostilities built up against me because of that. I am not going to try to justify all that I have done, because quite honestly, there are some things that are just not appropriate to discuss with your children. You have already heard far more than you ever should have, and for that I am deeply sorry.
I am your mom, and I love you more than I could ever possibly tell you. All of you. That has never and could never change, no matter what you ever do or say. I hate when we argue, and I hate the tension that is present so often in our home, and I want to do whatever I can to put an end to all of that.
I can’t promise you a lot. I can’t promise that your dad and I will get back together, because we probably won’t. I can’t promise you that we will all live in the same house with your dad, because in all likelihood that won’t happen either. I know you hate that, and I hate that it hurts you.
What I can promise you is this. I will always be here for you. You can talk to me about whatever you want, whenever you want. If I am busy, make me listen, I am never too busy for you.
I will always take your thoughts and feelings into consideration when making decisions. That does not mean that I will let you make the decisions. I will listen to you, and I will value your thoughts, but ultimately, I am the parent. I may do things that you don’t like, but we can talk about that, too. I really believe that we will be able to work through any problems that may come up. The thing is, I am still the same mom I have always been. Yes, I have done things I never would have done before. Yes, I have done things that you hate, but I am still the same person. I always will be. I know that we can get through this. It will take a lot of work, on all of our parts, but I really believe that we all will be happier in the long run.
I love you guys so much. I never wanted my actions to hurt you, and if they have, words cannot express how sorry I am for that. I am asking, one more time for your forgiveness. I think you know by now, I will keep asking, for as long as it takes. You are that important to me.
I Love You,