Day 1: Your Best Friend…..
It’s funny how when you meet someone for the first time, you have no idea what, if any, part that person will play in your life. I don’t remember the first thing I said to you, or you to me. I remember that I thought you were Norman’s daughter, not wife. I remember thinking that you were nowhere near my age, and wondering if we would have anything at all in common. That makes me laugh now, because I honestly cannot imagine my life without you, or your kids.
In almost all of my adult memories, you are in them in some capacity. I remember two young mothers, in bad marriages, sitting on our front step with blankets to avoid being in our houses after our kids were sleeping. I love that even then our kids would walk into each others homes just like they did their own. I love that your daughter was my daughter’s first best friend. Remember how many hours they spent playing barbies out in front of our houses? Remember how many hours WE spent looking for lost barbie shoes in the dirt?
I remember how much I admired you when you finally left Norman. I didn’t think I would ever have that much courage or strength. I have to admit though, I was kind of jealous. And sad. Kelly thought that we would be friends, stupid girl that she is. But, your moving away led to our greatest invention ever: sanity breaks.
Oh my Lord, I LOVED our sanity breaks! I used to have like a contest, to see which one of us would call first and say stop what you’re doing! I need a sanity break! It got to the point that my kids would tell me to call you cause I needed a sanity break! I think they needed a break from me, probably. They knew that I was always way too overprotective and you would tell me if no one was bleeding and nothing was broken to leave them alone.
In the days and months after Daniel died, you were nothing less than my rock. Here’s the thing about when a child dies. At first, everyone is there. People bring food, they call, they come to visit, and after a few weeks, all of that stops. It has to, people need to go back to their lives. The thing is, the silence when everyone is gone, can kill you. Or drive you insane at the very least. You never left. You stayed, and we cross stitched. And ate an obnoxious amount of Krispy Kreme Donuts. I will never forget that, or ever be able to repay my gratitude.
I was completely honored when you asked me to be your Maid of Honor when you married Tony. Even though I really didn’t want you to marry Tony. It was so much fun planning your wedding with you, even making those damn baskets that never seemed to end. ( You know, we really were crafty people there for a while. I never really thought about that.) It was your wedding pictures that made me go on The Great Diet and lose 100 pounds, so in a way, I have you to thank for that, too.
I think it was during the Tony years that our lives started mirroring each others. We had babies at the same time, got jobs at the same times, we did everything at the same time. We still do, oddly enough. ( I know what you’re thinking right now, and don’t go there!)
I have to tell you, that the time I lived in your house, was the happiest time in my life. It’s not many people who would take in a woman and her kids on an hours notice, even if it is their best friend, but you never even blinked. Remember Mt. Jenn? I thought that pile of everything I owned would never leave the middle of your living room. I love that you knew exactly what I needed to do, and how to do it. There are so many memories of that time I could write now, but we talk about them all the time, so I am only going to say once again, I will never, ever be able to repay your amazing gift to me.
I love that your kids refer to me as mommy number 2. I love that my kids tell me to call you when there is shopping to be done, because they know I hate it, and you love it enough to shop until you find the really, really good deals. I love that I call you my wife and no one, even your boyfriend dares to correct me. I have said it before, and I will say it again, you are my longest, best relationship. For all of this and more, I love you, and thank you from the bottom of my heart.