I don’t know what I want.
Have you kind of figured that out by now? Reading through my blog, does the underlying fact that I don’t have a clue what the hell I am doing ring clear in everyone’s mind? Okay, great. Now that we have that out in the open, I feel much better. I am really big on honesty.
So, I have been dreading this weekend for months now. I don’t like Valentines day at all, and this year it loomed ahead, refusing to be ignored almost as soon as I rang the New Year in. Red and pink, everywhere I looked. Stupid commercials on the television. Mushy I-love-you-so-much-I-am-so-glad-you’re-in-my-life cards leering at me in stores. I wanted nothing more than for this weekend NOT to happen. So I made a plan. I made a CD of the saddest lost love songs I could find, made a slide show of all of my exes on my media player, and planned to watch all of the pictures, listen to my CD, eat Ben and Jerry’s, and cry myself to sleep. Not the best plan, okay, I’ll give you that. It was my plan though, and in a sick, weird way, I kind of liked my plan.
Then it happened. On Friday, I found out that I needed to do something that I had no idea how to do by myself. The only person I knew who I could ask for help? Mr.Wrong. Yeah. So, I swallowed my pride, and called him to ask if he would be willing to help me, which would require me to stay the night at his house. After some conversation, he agreed to help me early on Saturday morning, I could come over on Friday night with my kids. Great. The strangest thing happened. We had a really good weekend. I know! I played with BabyG, we talked, We had a good time. Such a good time, in fact, that I stayed an extra night to watch BabyG so Tinkerbell could go on a date. We shopped together, cooked for our kids together, joked, laughed, played with our kids. I was having such a good time, in fact, that I forgot I was supposed to be miserable. Unbelievable. Incredible. Weird. How was your Valentine’s Day?